I was born not breathing. Lacking any oxygen to my brain for the first 12 hours, wait. Nope, no, no….. I lived the former life of a racecar driver and a Civil War Army Veteran. OK! Just out of fourth grade I caught on fire and my daddy put me out with a rake. We lived on a mayonnaise farm. I traded in my rake for a guitar. In the eighth grade I joined the ROTC for no reason at all. Once again I traded in my wooden rifle for a guitar. After a month of college I returned home to the mayonnaise farm where I learned how to build and repair guitars. I joined various local bands, toured across America, amassed the largest collection of spandex outfits, and gained a reputation for never cheating on the same woman twice. After retiring from touring I transitioned to a life of taxable income and became The Dr. of Guitar. Now I’m playing in the greatest female lead rock band in Texas, TROUBLEMAKER! I still don’t like mayonnaise.